I used to think being a perfectionist meant you did things just so; you did them “perfect”. I married a man who people saw as a perfectionist. His work was always “perfect”. If he hung a picture, he had the level and the hammer and the hanger, no improvising here. If he was painting a room, it was cut in perfectly, free-hand of course, with no drips. When he went to the laundry during college, the attendant commented that she hadn’t ever seen anyone fold clothes so perfectly. The list goes on and on; perfectly straight rows in our garden, perfect hospital corners on our bed, perfect bulletin boards in the youth room at church, perfect sets for our church productions, perfect wife…oops! My husband who produced perfection at every turn had married a girl who was the direct opposite of perfection. Wow, it sure did provide opportunities for us to grow! I hadn’t ever even made a bed, much less one with perfect hospital corners. (I was kinda spoiled) I employed the out of sight out of mind method of house cleaning. Before anyone would come over, I would open drawers or closets and stuff all the stuff out of sight. This method worked just fine until the first time Greg decided to help prepare our home for company. His idea was as he put stuff away he would clean out and reorganize where ever he was going to put it. Everything came out of the hall closet and it was reorganized before we could hang up the jackets! (you get the idea) Talk about the clash of personalities! What neither one of us understood until many years later was that I too suffered from perfectionism. Oh, I never performed to the level most would say is required to wear the title of perfectionist, but I struggled with it just the same. Mine was an inner struggle with never being good enough, never performing perfectly enough. I also felt the need to “fix” people and situations. If things didn’t turn out perfect, then somehow I felt it was my fault. I can hardly believe it even as I type it. I put myself under so much pressure, the stress was unbearable at times. And my husband; he didn’t expect perfection, he didn’t even feel that he had ever performed perfectly. Perfectionism is a trap. A trap that holds us hostage and keeps from being and doing all we are created to be and do.

Greg and I have learned a lot over the years. The most important thing we have learned is to not give our perfectionism so much power. We are constantly learning to let what is, be what is. We don’t need to fix everything. We need to be OK with our limitations. We are learning to let go of our need to be right. We are learning to not just accept our humanity and its imperfection, but to actually embrace it. It is who we are. As we embrace it, the realization for a savior is even more profound. Our weakness truly provides the “perfect” opportunity for God’s strength and grace to be shown.

So, no perfect people in this family. We are just people who love each other deeply and are committed to learning how to grace ourselves and those around us everyday. Sounds like the perfect place for me!