life in the middle of a sandwich…

I remember the first time I ever heard the term “sandwich generation”. Since I am always interested in all things food, I was instantly curious. As I began to read the article, I quickly realized it had nothing to do with food, and everything to with life. The “sandwich generation” is the generation that had their kids late in life and thereby still has children in the home when they begin to deal with the concerns of aging parents. I did the math. I would definitely qualify.

Here I am several years later living life smack dab in the middle of the sandwich. I have graduated one from our homeschool, but I have 2 more still here at home. My folks have been fine until just a few months ago. A fall, a broken hip, surgery, rehab, another fall, another surgery…

Now mom and I are looking at long term care for my dad. His condition continues to deteriorate. It is heart wrenching, overwhelming, and yes, sometimes it even looks hopeless. My mom is lonely, tired, and I am sure a little afraid.

So here I am living the “sandwich” life and I must say the internal pressure can be intense. I am continually learning what it means to “lay it all down”. The reality is that I can’t be enough. I am powerless to really make a difference, we all are. But God… grace, strength, peace, hope, discernment. He is the difference maker. He sees me, he see my dad and my mom. He sees my children and my husband. He is not caught by surprise at our situation, for this I am thankful.

If you feel like it, please say a prayer for my folks.

Time heals – and other lies…

Time doesn’t heal
Time changes the pain
God heals as he turns our pain into pathways to Him

Ann Voskamp explains that our pain inflicts holes in our soul, and those holes become portals through which we see God… I love this

My beautiful sister has been gone from this earth for 16 years now. I can tell you first hand that time doesn’t heal. Only the grace of God and his powerful peace giving spirit heals your pain. He heals in such a way that you see beauty and possibilities again. It never goes away, but you begin to live without the daily edge of the pain.

Ann Voskamp lost a sister, maybe that is why I relate so well…

As I remember the loss, the pain… I look forward with hope. I see a God who makes beauty for ashes and joy for our mourning… that is not a lie

a song of hope…

what does it mean to trust,
to sing when you can’t find your voice?
how do we walk this long road,
how do we make faith our choice?

we sing when it doesn’t make sense
we sing when our hearts are weighed down
we lift up a song to our God
our hope, our trust, our King

broken and humbled we come
depending upon your great grace
feeling the weight of our sin
thankful that love took our place

we trust
we hope
we wait in faith