I didn’t realize how bad I felt…

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until I started to feel better. It happened this past Friday, the fog lifted. I don’t know how else to describe it. Greg had planned a surprise get away for my Mother’s Day gift; dinner out and a night’s stay at one of our favorite B&B (that’s another blog). Anyway, I was a little worried since I have felt so bad; I wasn’t sure I would be good company. But a miracle occurred… the fog lifted, the sun came out, my eyes opened… I don’t know how to describe the wonderful energy I felt. I told Greg it was as if someone was holding my eyes wide open. I had lived squinting and struggling to focus through the pain and the brain fog, and now I was released. I know this sounds crazy, but it is glorious. I attribute it to detoxing from the side effects of grain and sugar.

Two weeks ago, I started on a grain-free diet. My doctor said that my health depended on it. The results have been amazing: weight loss is finally beginning to happen, the brain fog is lifted, and I have more energy than I have had in years!

You know we just get so used to feeling bad, or living with pain, that we can’t see a way out. I had resigned myself to just surviving… no more! I am living my life to the fullest. I have had several people ask about the grain-free diet so let me share a glimpse of the guidelines I am following.

no grain (I guess that’s obvious)
little to no sugar
lean protein at every meal
water, water, water
green veggies
fruit in moderation – no bananas
hardly any dairy – (I use almond milk, coconut milk and on rare occasions, soy)
artificial sweeteners are NOT my friend
coconut flour and almond meal ARE my friend

I read a lot and I love to research, so I immediately found an awesome online community that has proven to be a life saver. One of the blogs I read shared this great recipe for orange muffins and they are amazing. I made a few adjustments to the recipe. I used 3 times the amount of orange zest and I used 1/8 c of fresh squeezed orange juice.

Some say this seems radical, but I think my health and well being are worth any sacrifice I am making.

grain free – it hasn’t been easy, but the results are promising…

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I have officially been grain free for a week now. I have felt lousy… fatigue, headache, stomach issues, but that is all changing. I haven’t even taken one nap today and it’s 4:00 in the afternoon. Quite an improvement from the rest of the week! I know it is all detox and I know it will get better. However, unlike the past 2 years of frustrated efforts, this time I am actually seeing results! It would appear that grains and carbs were my nemesis. I have dropped 6 pounds this week… unbelievable! Finding the right things to eat are a challenge, but fortunately I enjoy cooking. I have enjoyed researching and discovering a little grain-free world on the internet. There are some amazing moms out there making a huge difference in the health of their families. I am so grateful they have taken the time to share their story with us.

I have baked a few things with almond meal/flour. I am anxiously awaiting my coconut flour.. what yummy treats lay in store! Here are a couple of my favorite websites so far.

Roost
beautiful blog, beautiful food, beautiful soul

health home happy
wealth of info on healthy living and grain free cooking

grain free – praying it works for me…

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I haven’t written much lately because frankly, I have been frustrated and mad. While some may think that fuels their writing, I didn’t want to spew my ugly insides all over my readers. Over the past couple of years I have been constantly amazed by the sweet comments and the open sharing. People contact me on facebook, stop me at church, and a few brave souls even comment here on my blog. They say that I encourage them, that I have touched them, challenged them… I want to be able to do that again. Greg encouraged me to go ahead and write about the ugly place I find myself currently. So here goes…

The fat to fit journey has been longer and more frustrating than I ever imagined. After 2 years of working out, most of which with a personal trainer, and eating healthy; I find myself weighing the same as I did when I started. I never ever would have dreamed I would be writing those words. How can it be? Didn’t I write this same blog last year? Well, my body is in full blown rebellion. Greg and I have been doing the Body For Life challenge for 7 weeks now. 6 small meals a day, 3 days of cardio and 3 days of lifting… and here I sit still fat, still exhausted, and looking for an answer.

I hope we found an answer this past Wednesday. I am so thankful for a great doctor who keeps searching. While my thyroid levels are good, I seem to have developed insulin resistance somewhere along the way. I go back on Monday to set up a week of monitoring my metabolism. I will be wearing Sensewear, a computer monitoring system that will show exactly how many calories I am burning. (kinda like Biggest Loser). I have started a new medicine and I am having great difficulty adjusting. It causes headaches and stomach cramps… these will diminish once my body adjusts. I am also going grain free. My doctor looked at me and said, “I hate to tell you this, but gluten free isn’t good enough.” With all that is going on in my body, she doesn’t feel I will ever be able to lose weight as long as I am eating grains.

Well, while this isn’t good news, it is news and for that I am thankful. I was beginning to wonder if maybe my weight was my “thorn in the flesh”. I do know that if I weren’t working out and eating healthy, I would be as big as a barn and miserable. My exercise habits have enabled me to maintain and not gain. I am thankful. Thankful first and foremost to a God who doesn’t reject me when my thoughts are ugly. Thankful beyond words for a husband whose love and support never wavers. Thankful for my trainer, Mandy who taught me that I can workout. Thankful for family and friends who encouraged me and tell me I’m beautiful and valuable no matter what my size. Lastly, I am thankful for the chance to refocus on what really matters. While I imagine skinny jeans may be fun to wear, what I really want is a healthy body that can fully enjoy this life I have been so richly blessed with.

Here I go… look for grain free recipes and hints soon!

Grain free Pinterest board

marvelous Monday…

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While I could get on the Monday morning moody blues if I wanted to, I have chosen a different path. I believe that while we all have things we could complain about, we also have things to be thankful for. It is perspective. I have been in a funk lately and more prone to list the complaints… that is changing. Once again I am drawn to the power of giving thanks. I am committed to counting the gifts, even if I have to dig through some rumble to find them.

Gifts of this day:
homeschooling

smiles from my husband
a body strong enough to work out
walking into my daughter’s room & finding her on her “made” bed with Bible & journal open
piano practice done; and done well
bass playing teenage son
the thirst for knowledge
3 teenagers
a girl who motivated herself to study Spanish today
a husband who can back a truck… just a little thing I appreciate!
gluten free food
essential oils
a house that is slowly becoming a well organized home
clean towels…this is a biggy around here, remember the 3 teenagers…
grace
promise
hope
my oldest son preparing for his future
Internship applications turned in… it is God’s hands
text messages that make me laugh out loud

my girl…

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She turns 13 tomorrow


She:
sings


plays piano
loves her daddy

paints

rearranges her room (alot)
watches fashion and makeup blogs by the hour
expresses her self

acts

sews
laughs with no sound

thinks all things Asian are super cool
loves old people
does impersonations (really well)
knits
decorates cakes

keeps a hot glue gun in her room
memorizes the Vera Bradley catalogue
dreams
is a great friend

writes songs
spends too much time on Pinterest
talks
talks
talks… where does she get that??
cooks
notices the “purple” in the brown dirt field

prefers natural light
loves to be outside
keeps essential oils with her at all times
thinks creativity is “a wonder and a great imagination”

is great with little kids and babies

is this and so much more

most importantly, she is mine

I love you Emma Leeanne!

why doesn’t it ever look like the picture?

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You all know what I mean:

Recipe photos in cookbooks look amazing, mine never do

Clothes in the catalogue look great on the “plus size” (size 10) model; on me…well not so great

Flowers on the front of seed packets look like they weed the flower bed for you…

and then there is the picture on the hair color box… they all lie!

Today I colored my hair

I sent Greg a picture of the front of the box so he would recognize me…

You guessed it, I look nothing like the picture on the box! I’m buying a different box next time. Where is the one with the middle aged, overweight mom on the front…

Time heals – and other lies…

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Time doesn’t heal
Time changes the pain
God heals as he turns our pain into pathways to Him

Ann Voskamp explains that our pain inflicts holes in our soul, and those holes become portals through which we see God… I love this

My beautiful sister has been gone from this earth for 16 years now. I can tell you first hand that time doesn’t heal. Only the grace of God and his powerful peace giving spirit heals your pain. He heals in such a way that you see beauty and possibilities again. It never goes away, but you begin to live without the daily edge of the pain.

Ann Voskamp lost a sister, maybe that is why I relate so well…

As I remember the loss, the pain… I look forward with hope. I see a God who makes beauty for ashes and joy for our mourning… that is not a lie

white shoes and Easter baskets…

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I was raised with strong traditions. My mom and dad always gave me a basket on Easter. My mom taught me that Easter was also the beginning of wearing white shoes. For a southern girl like me, white shoes came out at Easter and were put away on Labor Day. I’m not so sure that people still adhere to this. Last Sunday it warmed my heart when my darling daughter asked if it was okay to wear white shoes yet. I told her, “no, not yet. One more week.” She was happy to wear her TOMS with her skirt and wait for this Sunday to wear her white sandals. Now there isn’t anything legalistic about this, it is simply a tradition. I think there is comfort in traditions. My kids all have Easter baskets waiting at my folks house too!

All this talk about Easter baskets and white shoes made me think of other traditions I grew up with. Did you grow up wearing a flower on Mother’s Day? I did. I was taught that you wore a red flower on Mother’s Day if your mom was still living and a white flower if your mom had passed away. On the first Mother’s Day that I was a mom, my husband bought me a corsage. He bought it to match my new dress. He bought “pink”; not red, not white, but pink. You should have seen the look on my mom’s face when I walked in church that morning… after she picked up her jaw from the floor she proclaimed, “I guess this is Greg’s way of saying that I’m half way gone!” It has been a funny memory ever since.

So, I’m curious…do you wear white shoes before Easter? Do you give your kids Easter baskets? And last but not least, do you wear a flower on Mother’s Day?

You must take time to remember: a lesson in gratitude

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I have been blogging for several years now and my blog has often taken on a life of its own. There are days and weeks when I feel so inspired that I write and write and write… then, there are the other kinds of days and weeks. Today was sort of one of the “other” kinds of days. I found myself asking, “Where is my passion? Where is the wild innovation I often feel bubbling under the surface?” I found the answer in an unlikely place; I found it in reading my own blogs posts! It is crazy, but I went back and started reading some of the things I had written and all of the sudden it was like a fog lifted and I felt inspired. I thought, “wow! Did I write that?” So if you ever find yourself in a funk, here is a bit of encouragement: Keep a journal, start a blog, keep a diary, do something that keeps a record of your thoughts and doings. It is a powerful way to look back and see how you have grown. It shows how God has been faithful even in our unfaithfulness. It will encourage you and it will help you remember where you have been.

One of my favorite ways to remember is by counting “gifts” along with Ann and the thousands of others over at her website. Her book truly has changed my life.

So join me and take the challenge. Start small. No perfectionist legalistic rules, just start to take note of the joy and gifts around you everyday. This is a crazy, fast, and wild life we are living. Go ahead and take the advice of an old saying:

Stop and smell the roses!

the first sign of spring in my flower bed...